A Most Unreliable Narrator Issue #142 When I was young I knew everything
And she a punk who rarely ever took advice
Welcome to A Most Unreliable Narrator, the slice of life newsletter of GenXer around town, Lisa Rabey. I talk about anything and everything with a bit of swears. I’m glad you’re here.
Dear Internet,
Trusty Leelanau Enterprise, the paper that publishes the Blotter, is looking for freelance writers! I cleaned up my writer resume, updated my clips page, and sent it in. I thought about all that annoyed me with the copyediting submissions I got and steered clear of those mistakes. I sold myself and my writing.
The catch, of course, is that we’re only up at the cabin for five months a year but hopefully that won’t be a deterrent.
Speaking of the cabin, I’ve also got a line to volunteer with the Friends of Leland Township Public Library. Once I get my foot in the door, first thing I’m going to do is get the FOL listed on the library’s website.
Kristin reminded me to not try and take over. Here’s hoping.
Also speaking of the cabin, we’re going up in late May until mid-late October. Probably around Memorial Day weekend until shortly before Halloween.
I’m starting to get into that mode where I’m ready for the cabin. I’m ready for the peace and quiet; the trees answering the gods; the clear lakes and woodland creatures. Hiking, swimming, and biking around. Drinking by fire pits, my face dotted with marshmallow cream from s’mores.
I’m just ready.
This year is going to be exciting. We got a lot of work done over the winter by our fabulous contractor Dale. He made shelves that fit under the eaves in the loft (the cabin is an A-frame, and we have no wall space in the loft) for storage. (Previously, our clothes were just sorted on the floor.) He installed a ceiling fan in the loft and upgraded the one in the downstairs living space. He installed a washer/dryer unit (all in one like how the Europeans do). Swapped out some light fixtures. This summer we are getting the windows replaced. Possibly get a gas stove for heating and painting the cabin. (We have baseboard heating but it’s over 50 years old and expensive as fuck.)
We may get enough done to live there in the winter of ’24-25.
Lucky you! If we make it happen, you get to hear me bitch and moan of the snow and why the fuck I thought this was a good idea. (I checked after writing this and our part of Michigan gets about 110” of snow a year.)
Huzzah!
I stopped reading “You Just need to Lose Weight: And 19 Other Myths About Fat People ” by Aubrey Gordon the other day. It reads academically and honestly? I’m just not in the head space for it right now. My reading palate as of late is towards romance and general fiction with some non-fiction thrown in for good measure. I would also feel like Gordon’s wagging a finger at me for having fat girl surgery even though she’s gone on record saying fat girl surgery is a personal choice and one must do what one must do.
I asked Best Kitty about this, if she was going to read the book, and she’s also of the mindset she’s not in a mental space to do so either.
I put the book back on my wish list. I’m sure I’ll get to it in one time or another.
I get Gordon’s point, but I would be lying if I didn’t say that even without strenuous exercise, I’m feeling a lot better. The swelling in my ankle has gone down and while I had no issue walking long distances, now I can do so and talk without huffing and puffing. I’m anti-pants still (leggings 4 lyfe) but I already know that is changing. I bought bikini bottoms in a 2x and bikini tops in 2x and 3x (the boobs have barely moved in the loss of inches and 30lbs gone). I’m buying shorts in 20 and 22s. I’ve got sundresses in my cart as well but I need to try on what I have before buying any more dresses. I feel ready for Cancun (a month away, hooray!).
Friday, I weighed 288 pounds. The last time I was this size, was not long after I got married so 2010. I can clock back time with weight it is so ingrained in my head. I was about 260 in 2005 so that’s the next goal for me. The surgeon says 220 should be my goal. The last time I was 220 (and wore a size 14), I was 22.
It’s interesting to me that as I get smaller, what my feelings are like then compared to now. I know when I weighed any of these weights, there were all these promises I made to myself to drop below 200 and get to 180. First it was 20 pounds to lose, then 40, and then so on and do forth. If I make it to 180 now, I would have lost nearly 158 pounds. Another person! Crazy!
I would also argue, unrealistic. But I get the appeal of being in “onderland” (where the weight is 199 or below) but I do not strive for it. First, I’m nearly triple the age of my age when I was 180. Second, my body is not 18 anymore. Everything has changed physically as well as my metabolism. This is just the aspect of ageing.
Best Kitty and I have talked about what weight we would feel good at if we didn’t make the surgeon goal weight. If I was around 230-240, I would not be upset. Maybe a bit frustrated I didn’t lose more, but not terribly upset. I would rather be 230 than 338. (I’m also 5’10” and the fats are pretty well distributed.)
Those are just the facts.
Writing
“the gods heard” (flash) / Friday Flash Fiction, March 2023
What I’m Reading
This year I’ve committed to read 75 books via the Good Reads Reading Challenge.
Glenarvon Byron’s ex-lover was so distraught about their breakup; she wrote a roman à clef about their relationship
Pride and Prejudice Read this a zillion times but doing a read-a-long for Austen Mondays
If Walls Could Talk Lucy Worsley walks you through the history of the home
Cartographers Nell Young’s father is found dead and she must investigate why
Would I Lie to the Duke (Union of the Rakes #2) “When an ambitious entrepreneur pretends to be a lady of means, she catches the eye—and heart—of a duke”
Waiting for a Scot Like You (Union of the Rakes #3) When Major Duncan McCameron meets sassy Lady Farris, passion and misunderstanding ensues
You May Kiss the Bride (The Penhallow Dynasty #1) When Gabriel Penhallow meets Livia Stuart, passion and misunderstand ensues
The Idea of You Thirty nine year-old Solene Marchard falls for 20 year-old Hayes Campbell. Chaos ensues.
Her Majesty’s Will William Shakespeare and Kit Marlowe are spies in Elizabethan England
A Conspiracy in Belgravia (Lady Sherlock #2) Charlotte Holmes is on the case again
Wordslut a feminist guide to taking back language
The Love Match To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before meets Pride and Prejudice so essentially catnip
Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now The title is pretty explanatory, I feel.
Check out the media I’ve consumed for 2023!
Wonderful Thing
“The Freshman” by The Verve Pipe
(Not to be confused with The Verve, the now broken-up Britpop band (the lead singer, Richard Ashcroft, has had his own successful solo career) who had many wonderful hits.)
You would be hard pressed to listen to American radio in 1996 without “The Freshmen” playing at some point in the song blocks. (It has over 20M streams on Spotify.)
The song, about a girl’s suicide, was also weirdly a love song for many as it was for me.
I’ve dipped into TikTok the other day when someone sent me a TikTok of Brian Vander Ark (lead singer The Verve Pipe) mocking “The Freshmen.”
The original:
The fucking feels! The ‘90s!
I was 24 when the song came out. I just started dating ex-fiancé #1 and this became our song. I think we saw The Verve Pipe in concert. God, I don’t recall. (I do recall he and I saw Tool in a tiny theater of 500 in 1996 before they made it big and five years later, I saw them at an arena in DC. I had VIP seats. I still have my notebook with the Tool sticker on the front I got from the first show.)
I won’t enthuse about ‘90s music or the pop culture. You just had to be there, man.
(HOWEVER, I will HIGHLY recommend my pal Bernard’s “This Week in the ‘90s” Substack. Right now, we’re in 1993 and his Substack is GLORIOUS if you’re into ‘90s music and pop culture. I will note Bernard is Irish and his work contains top hits in the UK.)
Any who, the song has been playing in my brain for the last week. (And boy, I hope you watched the video for prime ‘90s experience.) I started two stories that were influenced by ex-fiancé #1 and that blasted song.
Some years past since the mid ‘90s and it turns out a local to Grand Rapids ska band, Mustard Plug, covered the “The Freshmen.” The story goes along the lines of the song was for a compilation CD for a local radio station (represent WGRD) for something or another. It may have been a joke cover? Who cares! While I love the original version (sweet mother loving jesus, found out The Verve Pipe is releasing Villains on vinyl. TAKE MY CREDIT CARD!), the ska version has a place in my heart, and I put it on many a mix tape over the years.
Enjoy.
lisa x
I follow him on TT and not that long ago he sang it at a karaoke place and no one cares or noticed that they were getting a free concert
Thanks Lisa!