A Most Unreliable Narrator Issue #81 #yoga #goals
Weight: Still not giving af right now
Mood: Butchy
If you’re wondering if I lost the ability to count, which would make sense since I was an English major after all, the answer is no, I did not. I went back to the start of this TinyLetter incarnation and counted up all the actual entries, sans Blotter, and this would be my 81st entry if I kept going on the original count. I decided that starting and stopping with counts was a bit ridiculous so going forward, I’ll keep this count even if I change the name 982 times.
I had my head shaved.
I had TEH whip out his clippers and put on the 1” guard, later dropped to the ¾” guard, and buzz my head.
I’m not manic but yet I trusted a lefty who can barely handle scissors near my head.
I’m genuinely fine with it. Should I have had it done professionally? Probably. But nevertheless, I neither like nor dislike it. It’s just hair. It’ll grow back. I look like my mom and when I wear lipstick TEH asks me if there have been any good bakes. (He’s convinced I’m twinning with Prue Leith from The Great British Bake-Off. She’s rocking big necklaces and bold lip while I’m rocking big earrings and bold lip. It’s not a too shabby comparison to be compared with a world renowned chef who hangs out with the “male judge.”)
(n.b.d. A long time internet friend since shaving my head was so on brand that while the look was a shocker, the fact that I did it was not.)
Also of note: I need to learn how to properly apply lipstick so I don’t look like a child learning how to color between the lines went after my lips.
So why? I had about 3” of virgin growth since the last time my hair was cut and colored. I was waiting until I was home in Louisville for the winter and I have an appointment already booked on November 6. My hairdresser is going to LOVE me when she sees my head in all its uneven glory. But I got impatient, and my bangs had fried a bit when I did the pink so it seemed like a healthy choice is to just cut it all over and start fresh.
(n.b.d. Step, queen of bald heads, is bringing her clippers next week and fixing me.)
I don’t have as much grey as I thought I did. Most of my grey is at my temples so I’ll be rocking Romneys when it grows out. A faux hawk will be in order but after that, who knows!
Now that I’m writing this a few days after the above, my nearly shorn locks have been an interesting effect on me. On one hand, I want it to say fuck you to the patriarchy and then I wonder if I have deep hatred of myself that if I feel ugly, I will be ugly. I’m going to have a long talk with my therapist this week about body dysmorphia because the longer I sit on this new ‘do, the more I’m wondering that while I wasn’t manic if there is deep-seated anger or frustration that I’m refusing to deal with.
Which leads me on to some of my friends who are taking big steps to making themselves whole. One has a life coach that she is obsessed with, another quit her job to make her passion hobby her new life, and another is getting trained in reiki and taking classes on art therapy.
They are finding their way while I continue to struggle.
I’ve started yoga again at home and I’m doing the “never been to yoga class” session in Down Dog. I’ve set it on quick flow and I find myself flipping through all these poses and I notice that my core is for shit. Through various means, I found a “fat and fit” yoga instructor based in C-bus (okay, Best Kate turned me on to them) and my heart went “#GOALS!” I’ve toyed with the idea of getting certified for a few years now, but it would mean I would need to learn how to DO yoga rather than just piddle around with it. But I feel like that if I do something good for my body, it will repay me thousandfold. And I also think that it will help unblock my soul and help me push myself to be the best that I can be with a fit bod to show off.
That’s the hope anyway.
Wonderful Thing
Suicide Squad! We caught it on HBO Max on Friday night, and it is glorious, and Margot Robbie is transcendent. Yep, it’s violent as fuck but I highly recommend it. I was so enthused with Harley’s lipstick, I tracked it down and bought it. If I’m going to rock a bold lip, go big. Harley would be pleased.
Interesting Things (or things to buy)
See above.
Links to Read That Are Not (Terribly) Depressing
Florida man washes ashore after trying to ‘walk’ to New York in bubble device
Sucks to be him! How Henry the vacuum cleaner became an accidental design icon
Typos, tricks and misprints: Why is the Englishs Spelling System so Weird
Don’t be stupid! Get vaxxed!
lisa x
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