A Most Unreliable Narrator Issue #86 On Being Non-Binary
Weight: Who knows
Mood: Full of hot cocoa
On Being Non-Binary
I identify as pansexual female presenting non-binary. This means I will sleep with just about anyone (living) while looking like a heteronormative female who identifies as having no gender.
I present as female because of my tendency for feminine dress over masculine. I’m fine with both she/her and they/them pronouns.
Why am I telling you this? Because other than a few close friends in the know for the last few months, I’m essentially outing myself.
And… I’m tired of watching telly and having the non-binary characters hate their breasts (I do not) and wear binders, cut their hair in androgynous shapes, wear baggy clothes, and basically reject everything that has a female or male sex described to them (penis, breasts, vulva/vagina, hips, mouth, etc). I do not feel represented in the media and I’m tired of it.
Just because I’m non-binary does not mean I owe you a “specific” look. I don’t want to cut my hair in androgynous shapes, I like my breasts thankyouverymuch, and I also like my curves. I also like masculine dress such as ties and brogues as well as feminine dress like skirts and frilly bras. I like wearing lipstick and show my tits just as much as I like dressing like a boy with loose t-shirts, jeans, and Chucks. Even sometimes I like mixing both!
I’m non-binary because I never saw myself as being a boy or a girl, I just saw myself as me. And I’m annoyed as fuck television writers and producers keep playing with this idea that non-binary people behave or act in a specific way. We don’t. We’re just as fluid with our presentation as there are many different types of queer people who do not “look” like how society wants them to behave or look.
The other reason why I mention all of this is because more and more of my friends of my generation are starting to come out and stake their own identities. For this we can thank the younger generations for being brave enough to come out of the proverbial closet and teaching us it’s okay to be who we want to be without fear and without repression.
There is so much here to unpack that I’m still working with my therapist (who is trans non-binary and uses they/them pronouns) whose helping me unlock these bits of myself. I have a long ways to go but I just want it to make it clear that we’re not all the same and you shouldn’t expect us to be either.
Evil Empire
I may not be writing a book or submitting flash fiction anywhere right now, but I am maintaining my blog empire as well as submitting other types of work around the web.
First, the evil empire
Exit, Pursued By a Bear The original blog dating back to 1996ish (now an archive)
Excessively Diverting The Jane Austen and Bronte blog
I’ll Read Anything Once My new book blog I launched this week. I’m tired of “reviews” that don’t really put thought into their piece so I’m starting my own with a lot of swears and some sass
A Most Unreliable Narrator What you’re reading now
Consume Media I found a site where the author tracked what they watched and read every year and I thought that was such a great idea I’m stealing it here. 2021 is sparse so far but I hope to continue it
Second, clips
I’ve added a new section this week called “Things I Wrote This week” to the newsletter where I track anything I’ve got posted around the web. I’ve been mainly writing a lot for No Flying, No Tights, the librarian centric graphic novel blog for the last few years but I hope to expand my review capabilities to few other sites soon. I track everything on my clips page. Maybe one day I’ll get back into writing flash again.
Up North
We’ve been up at the cabin for the last four nearly five months and it’s almost time to go back to Louisville. One of the things that I’ve come to accept is how I can do with so much less when I have so much “stuff” back home. Except for a few more clothes items and some other shoes, I’ve been doing well here without all the comforts I’ve become accustomed to. This is an interesting development. If we had an inhouse washer dryer and a Subaru (the MINI wouldn’t make it through a winter up here), I think we could last a winter.
The downside to this, of course, is seasonal depression. TEH gets hit with it hard and it’s already starting to show now that it gets dark later in the morning and earlier at night. There is nothing more delightful then walking your 20lb dog out in the pitch-black dark hoping bears or coyotes come looking for you. FUN! Any who, even if we get everything we want together before to spend a year up here, it is scary to know what our moods could be like. There is also the consideration of therapy (currently telehealth) and getting our meds (for now, telehealth). Both only will work with us if Kentucky is our primary state.
Living up here for a winter is 80% going to happen in a few years but for now, need to worry about getting the mental health sorted before making any kind of commitment.
Things I Wrote This Week
"Beautiful World, Where Are You" (review) / I’ll Read Anything Once, October 2021
"Bubble" (review) / No Flying, No Tights, September 2021
Wonderful Thing
Cross-stich! Erika came to visit a few weeks back and taught me to properly learn how to cross-stich. The project she brought for me was a bit beyond my skill level so I found a few of my older patterns, ordered the floss and other tools, and got started!
Interesting Things (or things to buy)
My mini-me (Lindsay) has opened up her own jewelry store on Etsy. If you’re into punk rock riot grrl jewelry, she’s the one you need to see! Check out Alliterati Crafts. She also does custom work such as the Jane Austen charm, living right next to my Michigan charm, she made for me. She’s also on Instagram.
Links to Read That Are Not (Terribly) Depressing
Spanish bishop resigns to pursue relationship with "satanic-tinged erotic fiction" author
Eminem surprises customers by serving at Mom’s Spaghetti, his new Detroit restaurant
Get vaccinated and mask up! There is a pandemic going on.
lisa x
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