A Most Unreliable Narrator Issue #144 Istanbul (Not Constantinople)
That's nobody's business but the Turks
Dear Internet,
Spent the weekend with Bad Kitty (why I’m late with this week’s missive) and had a really good time. Friday we saw They Might Be Giants (they are touring their Flood album which came out in 1990. Jesus lord) and rocked out.
(Istanbul (Not Constantinople) was first released in 1953 by The Four Lads. 70 years and counting. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.)
I walked away with a t-shirt, Flood on vinyl, and some stickers. Bad Kitty walked out with a few t-shirts of her own. We both walked out with a spring in our step.
We got back to the hotel nearing 23:00 and were hungry. Places in downtown C-bus were closed, or closing, so we Uber Eated Taco Bell and lord jesus, never doing that again. I’m afraid to relay the cost of three tacos so just imagine it’s a lot.
Saturday, we spent nearly 10 hours shopping and going around C-bus like tourists. Eyed a few items that I could not afford but wanted to. Except for a nice bottle of perfume, and food, it was a pretty good weekend money wise. This morning we rolled out around 8:30 and I was home three-ish hours later. Sometimes you just need a few days with your bestie.
(I was able to offload two kitchen garbage bags of yarn to her since I’ve given up on knitting and Bad Kitty knits sweaters.)
The state of KY sent me a notice in early January that I owed $600 in back taxes for the tax year 2018. Honestly, I am not surprised I owe as I was working for a shady contracting company at the time and them fucking up my taxes would not be unheard of.
I was in the throes of recovering from fat girl surgery, so I placed the bill in my usual area for bills and conveniently forgot about it for a few months. Fuck the man. They can wait for their monies.
I held out paying the bill when I found out I owed federal and state tax this year. Not much ($84 for Federal and $4 for state) but what happened to the years of getting monies back? I have never owed until now! The only thing I can come up with is now that I’m saving cash for my 401(k) pre-tax, this has something to do with the now owing, right? My nose is out of joint about this, but I guess this is the price for adulthood.
It dawned on me last weekend as we careened out of the middle of March, I had not paid the bill. I checked the document, and the bill was due March 6. I hustled over to their website to pay. After, I swear to god, dicking around KY’s tax revenue site for a solid 30 minutes, I had no idea if I paid the bill or not.
After a few days, and no receipt email or monies removed from my checking account, I tried again. Same issue. Now it won’t let me pay as my “login” was incorrect. I said fuck this shit and wrote a check.
A freaking check.
I was also behind on paying Thursday’s city license which I was able to pay online. That was only $10.50 but they charged me $15.00 late fee since it was paid after 12/31/2022. I donated $10 towards the Animal Services care and called it good.
I also owed a mere $14 to Munson Hospital in N. Michigan when I had my accident last fall. Something I also forgot to pay.
Why am I being so neglectful about paying bills? The answer I came up with is 99% of all my bills and receipts are electronic. I get a bill emailed to me, I pay it, and I get a receipt. Why is this so difficult?
Did I tell you last fall when I got the bill for my emergency room visit from Munson it was sent on a form letter with the amount written in ink? I knew N. Michigan wasn’t necessarily up to 21st standards just yet being in the middle of nowhere, but this was adorable.
I have an unhealthy reality TV problem. It started with the 21st season of The Bachelorette as Rachel Lindsay would be the first Black bachelorette in the show’s history. I was curious as to the reception and I started watching.
That leaked over to The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise.
Around the same time, J heard on some podcast about Love Island UK which is where 20 somethings mix and mingle for about six weeks in a private villa with no contact to the outside world with their exploits shown five days a week. Chaos ensues. We’ve watched this stupid show from the beginning, and we’ve hit the over 400 episodes across nine seasons. OVER FOUR HUNDRED EPISODES! Where has my life gone? (We’ve seen the first season of Love Island US and it was so fucking tame compared to the UK one. We started watching it when it landed on Peacock and they had a bit more raunch. Much better.)
Also, the franchise is growing.
Then there is 90 Day Fiancé.
How to describe this show? I’ll succinctly try: it’s about a group of Americans who have international fiancés. Once they come to the States, the couple has 90 days to get married or go back home.
As expected, chaos and massive drama occurs.
There is also obvious scams and of course, entertainment.
Not going to lie, it makes me feel better about my choices in life. Yes, I’m judgy as fuck. I don’t know anyone who watches Reality TV and is not judgy. Check Reddit for the receipts.
I watch every week with Erika. We set up a video date Sunday nights and yell at our TV screens for nearly two hours.
The series is now a franchise (Happily Ever After?, The Single Life, The Other Way, 90 Day Fiancé: Love in Paradise, The Family Chantel, 90 Day Stories, Darcey and Stacey, and others I’m missing). I calculated that there is a new episode of some kind of 90DF every Sunday all year long. There was a season of something Erika refused to watch so we watched Conjuring Kesha instead.
Lastly, MILF Manor. Which, thank the fuck, has ended. The premise is a group of MILFs aged 40 to 60 meet in a villa with the idea of meeting and dating younger men. The twist? It’s their sons! This show was cringey as fuck. My favorite Alan was piqued by the premise also watched every week and then gossip with me after the show. Allegedly, the creators are British and claimed that the world “MILF” has different connotation in Britain and they had “no idea” the shit storm they started in the US. Right. There are rumours one of the women is getting a spinoff and rumours a second season is coming. No, thank you.
Strangely, J was really into this show and I think because I was so adamant on not watching it. But of course, I was in the room when it was on and got it second hand.
Don’t judge.
(Aside: My day job profesh website was hosted on SquareSpace and was a static page of my CV. Received notice from SS that my account is do for renewal and the intro pricing long gone. I decided to move to another host that is significantly cheaper. The whole process from swapping providers to getting the site up took about an hour. Love the internet!
The site is rabey.net. lisarabey.com also points there. The only social media I have is a link to my Linked in account and my email. Just a CV from the last 15 years of my life. That’s it. No blog. No newsletter. Nothing.)
Writing
Lisa Rabey Writes Stuff Issue #6 Lolly, Lolly Get Your Adverbs here
Lisa Rabey Writes Stuff Issue #6.5 The Lisa Chronicles Vol 1 1998
What I’m Reading
This year I’ve committed to read 75 books via the Good Reads Reading Challenge.
Glenarvon Byron’s ex-lover was so distraught about their breakup; she wrote a roman à clef about their relationship
Pride and Prejudice Read this a zillion times but doing a read-a-long for Austen Mondays
If Walls Could Talk Lucy Worsley walks you through the history of the home
Would I Lie to the Duke (Union of the Rakes #2) “When an ambitious entrepreneur pretends to be a lady of means, she catches the eye—and heart—of a duke”
Waiting for a Scot Like You (Union of the Rakes #3) When Major Duncan McCameron meets sassy Lady Farris, passion and misunderstanding ensues
A Conspiracy in Belgravia (Lady Sherlock #2) Charlotte Holmes is on the case again
Wordslut a feminist guide to taking back language
The Davenports In 1910Davenports are one of the richest Black families in the city, they move to finding their own place in the world and loving those they are not supposed to
Magic for Liars Ivy Gamble does not have magic but she must use her wits to figure out the gruesome murder that happened at The Osthorne Academy of Young Mages
Miss Lattimore's Letter Miss Lattimore meddles in the marriage mart and is she going to make her own catch?
Check out the media I’ve consumed for 2023!
Wonderful Thing
Triscuits, salami, cheese, and Fudge Stripe cookies
Growing up, I would stay at my beloved Aunt Jackie’s house on the reg. This started when I was about five and continued up until I left Port Huron when I was 13.
Aunt Jackie was a swinging single lady and didn’t cook. She kept nail polish in her fridge along with Oscar Meyer salami, a block of Kraft medium cheddar cheese, and a package of Fudge Stripe cookies. The Triscuits were in the cupboard.
My meals when I was there consisted of salami and a slice of cheddar on top of a Triscuit with the Fudge Stripe cookies as dessert. I would score the salami into fourths, cut off a slice of cheddar from the cheese brick and have my version of an amuse bouche.
As I grew up, when I needed cheering up or was having a bad time, I would hie thyself to the grocery store and grab Triscuits, Oscar Meyer salami, and a block of Kraft sharp cheese with Fudge Stripe cookies. It always made me feel better.
When J and I got back together, he laughed at this treat of mine and tried to upgrade my salami, cheese, and crackers to fancy versions but you know what? Nothing tastes as the original.
Bon appetit!
lisa x