⚔️ A Most Unreliable Narrator 🍱 #181 yakuza gun-moll
Online support groups are my new jam
Dear Internet,
Friday, I attended an online Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) support group meeting. Thanks to the increase of Wellbutrin, my depression has somewhat abated, but I had a manic episode the other night which worried me. I figured this was a perfect time to attend.
The set-up of the support group is like other support groups. We agree to not divulge what is said in the group, we have a facilitator, and the group runs by what we want to talk about. There is no pre-determined topic or theme which is nice. We did a round of introductions of our first name, where we lived, our diagnosis, and a fun fact about us. We were not obligated to give answers to all four other than our name but most did. One person was there from South Africa which was neat. Out of 20 people, majority were bipolar 2 or depressive. There was only one bipolar 1 person. I was only one of the few with multiple diagnosis.
While friends are supportive and sympathetic, not many deal with what I deal with and there is still a bit of loneliness because the lack of connection with others like me. And one on one therapy can only do so much.
(The difference between bipolar 1 and 2 is that 1 is more manic while 2 is more depressive. This is not to say neither can’t have mania or depression, but it is to say that each type has more prominent symptoms.)
In the group, many people talked about losing their jobs due to their illness, which I could relate to. How many things have I lost due to my illness? A lot. Too much to name. Other discussion was on getting on disability or like me, making connections with others. To be supported and support others.
There was also a lot of discussion about using WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan). WRAP is a plan that can be used when the person is in distress or in crisis. An example would be instructions on how to take care of pets, the distressed person’s money, and their health. I don’t have a WRAP set-up but I do my accountability list I use every day (which I was lax on for a few weeks and now I’m back at it). Several others also do something similar, so we talked about how we set up our accountability lists as well as what we do to keep us in check. Like I track my hygiene and drug taking so I don’t skip days. When I was in the throes of my depression, taking a shower or even brushing my teeth was overwhelming. I did what I could and that was enough.
Mr. Lisa and I are on a family plan for a password sharing app (1Password) and we can share passwords between each other so all my important accounts so if anything does happen to me and I am incapacitated, he can get to my important stuff. I still need to make a will and a medical directive. We keep talking about doing these, but we haven’t gotten around to it.
I signed up for another meeting on this upcoming Friday. I decided I would go at the same time every week to feel a connection with others. Some reported they go multiple times a week and one woman said she goes every day. I think once a week would be OK for me.
Other than the feel of connection, the other reason I went to the support group meeting was for research. My main character in my work in progress novel, Going Crazy, has bipolar 1 and she’s newly stable. Her therapist recommends she join an online support group to also feel that connection with others like her. She balks but goes anyway and finds that she likes it. Where is in my life those who join the meetings change every week, Alex’s group will be the same people and facilitator. (When I lived in CT, I attended a weekly in-person bipolar support group of women only so it was nice to also build one-to-one connections with those women outside of group.) I’ve also toyed with Alex joining a Discord for additional connection and support where she can be anonymous as well as access the group 24/7 and not have to wait when she gets big feelings or feels symptoms coming on to reach out to her therapist or a meeting. I joined a similar Discord before fat girl surgery, and it was helpful, but I don’t want to overwhelm Alex, and the reader, with all these possibilities. Thus, weekly one-on-one therapy sessions and twice a week scheduled support group is enough.
I’m planning on attending weekly for at least six months to get a deep feeling of how it works as clearly one meeting isn’t enough. After that time, I’m going to sign up to be a Peer Specialist. It costs money for the training which I don’t have that right now. It’s always been super important to me to give back to the community the more I stabilize, and this is a good way to do so.
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Tomorrow is the eclipse. To celebrate, I’m taking my work to a local brewery who is having an outside party. I’ll have lunch and a pop instead of beer with my NASA approved eclipse glasses on. We’re not in totality but we’re close. Indy is two hours and north and in the totality path. I’d drive up but word on the street is that it’s going to be jammed with traffic. I’ll opt for partial totality instead.
What are you doing for the eclipse?
Wonderful Thing
Tokyo Vice (Max/HBO)
Based on the true crime book, by Jake Adelstein, of the same name, Tokyo Vice tells the story of Adelstein as one of the first foreign nationals to work at a Japanese newspaper. In the series, Adelstein covers the crime beat. He discovers the world and honor of the yakuza and the corruption of the police, newspapers, and politics. Set over two seasons, Adelstein is on the case to report and bring down one of the most powerful yakuza boss whose sole aim is to have absolute power not only over other yakuza families but also over Japan.
The TV series is a fictionalized version of the book but it contains some true elements to tie the book and series together. Max/HBO did little to promote the series as it came out on Thursday and not the prime-time Sunday night.
First, there are too many attractive people in the show. This was not the primary reason to watch but it didn’t hurt.
Second, what drew me to the series is the set-up, writing, and learning about Japanese and yakuza cultures. The story itself is compelling because here is a foreigner acclimating to a new culture and he succeeds and learns rather than fumbles and disrespects. The series is very layered and you have to pay attention not only because half of it is in Japanese but also to keep track of all the secondary plots that are spinning from corrupt bosses to gay life in modern day Tokyo.
The finale of season two wrapped up this week and it was mostly satisfying. Adelstein gets his story, the police detective (played by the fantastic Ken Wantanbe) retires, an upcoming yakuza member becomes boss of one of the most powerful families, and his gun moll, Sam (another American living in Tokyo) gets her closure. And of course, the main villain is taken care of.
In the interview with Hollywood Reporter, the creator J.T. Rogers discusses the possibility of season three with a new story. I vehemently disagree with this. All the plot lines were tied up. This reminds me of when Queen Charlotte, the one-off Netflix series in the Bridgerton world, came out. It was supposed to be a single season but people are clamoring for more. No way dude. The story is perfect as it is. Leave it alone.
To sum, I was obsessed with the show and Thursdays couldn’t come fast enough. Both seasons are streaming on Max/HBO. Tokyo Vice, the book, is in print and I’ve got it on my list to read. I’ll give a review when I do.
Sayōnara,
lisa x
Sayōnara,
lisa x