🥾 A Most Unreliable Narrator 👑 Issue #189 Whoomp! (There it is)
Can you dig it? (We can dig it!)
Dear Internet,
We’re getting back into the swing of things with my workouts. Tuesday, I joined an aquatic fitness class at the Y. Out of maybe 20-30 people, two of us were under 60. The Boomers are going to live forever, mark my words I said to myself as I was getting overlapped by an 80-year-old. I liked the group well enough, and the instructor was quite nice. She is also Rubenesque, so it was nice to see a larger body leading an exercise class that didn’t fit what society expected a fitness instructor’s body to look like. The instructor recommended I try out a few different classes to see the ones I like. Our class was in the therapy pool, but other classes are held in the lap pool. On my way out of class, the lap pool class had started, and it was all 70-year-old women in the deep end doing arm circles while staying afloat. I was able to wear my glasses in the therapy pool (some women were dripping in jewels and make-up) but I can’t in the lap pool for fear of losing them. I’m making a big deal out of nothing but if I wasn’t, then would I be me?
Wednesday was my off day from workouts. Thursday Mr. Lisa and I went to the Y to do Thursday’s exercises. With a wide array of machines at our disposal, Mr. Lisa added two more exercises for a total of six (three super sets to failure) and upped my cardio to 20 minutes instead of 15. I kinda loved it? I just like feeling strong. Lots of teens were around doing “exercise” where they would use the machine for a few moments and then get on the phone. Friday, I walked the hill instead of going to the gym after work since Kristin was coming to visit. I did stop going back up twice because my calves were killing me. The one thing I’ve noticed is that my body feels fine when I push it but it’s my cardiovascular that is terrible. I was hoping the 20 minutes of near runs on the treadmill would help but maybe I’ve got to add in more.
Monday, I have a swim lesson and Tuesday is another aquatic class. Thursday, I have my routine, so I don’t need Mr. Lisa to come with me. Friday is leg day, so we’ll be heading back to the gym after work for me to learn those exercises. Mr. Lisa wants to work out with me. I prefer the mornings because then I am not obsessing over it all day but Mr. Lisa likes after work because he doesn’t relish the idea of getting up at 6:30, drive 30 minutes to the gym, work out for an hour and then 30 minutes back home. We’ll see whose battle of the wills wins.
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Kristin came into town for the weekend. She’s a big fan of hikes and walks and I wanted to try out my new walking up hills skills so we went to Whaleback Natural Area.
This hike is a circuitous 2 miles up to the view spot where you can see Lake Michigan and then back down. Per Mr. Lisa, last time we did this walk, which was pre-surgery, I would stop every 200’ to rest. This time? No problem. It felt great to move my body without having it complaining. On our way down, we met a barefoot runner wearing a puffer jacket and two women with their overly friendly dogs. We stopped and petted the dogs for a few moments before heading on.
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Since a Lisa Writes Stuff isn’t coming out for a few weeks, I need to crow now about my writing this week. I’ll keep it short.
After a forever of writing and tweaking, I sent in my package to Harlequin for their #RomanceIncludesYou contest. I waited until the last minute, because of course I did, but it did get submitted before it closed. I was at the library working when I finished. When I clicked submit, it felt very anticlimactic. I’m trying to be a realist and just be proud that I did a thing! Obviously if I get on the short list or win would be beyond fan-fucking-tastic, but just submitting is enough. And if I don’t win, I can’t re-submit to Harlequin under one of their lines but doesn’t matter. I know the story is strong and relevant and to market that hopefully someone else loves it.
A day later, I submitted my 8,000 word story, “Love in the Time of Cherry Season,” to an anthology that had three requirements:
The story was to be 8,000 words or less
It had to be set in the Great Lakes area
It had to have a romantic element
My story is about an over 40 fat woman who steps on the toes of a Man-god at Scoop There It is, the local ice cream shop. Zoe is conventionally attractive, but she’s been demeaned about her weight her entire life. She’s finally in a place of acceptance but she’s gun shy on dating. She steps on Ollie’s toes and after persuading her to give her his number, Zoe is at a bit of a loss that she now has control over a date which is not something she’s had in the past and he seems to genuinely like her. Do Zoe and Ollie get their HEA? Of course they do! It’s a fucking romance.
(There is a lot about Zoe and Ollie that I wanted to explore but the word count constraints made it difficult. If I’m accepted, I’ll see what my rights are because I’d love to turn this into a novella.)
I don’t know if there will be a digital version available of the book (If I’m accepted) but I do know there will be print copies of which I will be buying.
Between you, my closest friends in the world, and my dog, I’m not a fan of the choices of covers. Some anthologies ask you to pay to play which isn’t unusual but this one is notl. That money tends to cover publishing costs such as an editor and cover designer. This time around, the cover is being designed by someone in the group and…they are not good. I picked the least offensive one so curious to see what the anthology ends up with.
A paranormal contest is coming up in three weeks. I was going to submit to that until I found out the prize is nothing more than a lapel pin and a certificate. I’m paying you $20 for a lapel pin and a certificate? Hell, another contest I’m entering has cheaper entry prices and the cash prize is $100 USD as well as publication.
I found another call for queer love story, and I’ve already got an idea. It’s about a woman who comes out as non-binary to her boyfriend and the freedom they feel to live their authentic life. That one is due July 31 so plenty of time.
I also cranked out a 900 word review this week on the graphic novel, Crazy Like a Fox: Adventures in Schizophrenia, for No Flying, No Tights. I haven’t written for them in a number of years, but the editor graciously let me come back. I plan on writing a review a month for NFNT.
After the writing orgy this past week, I’m not planning on writing (other than for work and specific blogs) this week. I need a fucking break.
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We’ve now been at the cabin for a week and we’re settling into life. Mr. Lisa asked me if I was truly happy up here and the answer is a most definitive yes! Maybe it’s because I’m back in Michigan? Maybe because I’m only a few hours from my friends? Maybe because I enjoy our life here? There are so many reasons why I feel better up here than down in KY. Even the pug likes it up here. She gets to lay on the couch and stare out at the world all day. She also enjoys the walks the neighborhood.
The price of real estate has trebled since we bought the cabin and Mr. Lisa has talked in the past about selling it if the price was right and ten years later, it’s close to right. But I’ve put my foot down and begged to keep it. It’s a connection to my friends and family and if we do move to Europe, there is no guarantee we’ll get citizenship immediately (we won’t) so we’ll need a US based location and boom! There it is.
This is going to be a great summer. I can feel it.
Wonderful Thing
Bridgerton (Yet again.)
Short as I wanted to point out two things that caught my eye this week:
There is an official playlist of the Bridgerton soundtracks (S1, 2, 3 Part 1, Queen Charlotte) that I’ve been listening to as I work this week.
Bath & Body Works have a Bridgerton collaboration and I was a sucker for it and bought some Bridgerton hand soap.
See! Not that bad!
#Polin forever,
lisa x