❄️A Most Unreliable Narrator ☃️ Issue #210 Frolicking Through the Flowers
Bought gerbea daisies and they make me happy.
Dear Internet,
Yeah, I get it. You’re probably tired of me moaning about the weather, WHICH IS FINE, but in the frozen tundra of N. Michigan, it is what we do.
That and also say, “Ope!” which, honestly, I never heard of before memes about Midwesterners saying it became a thing.
Last week, I wore linen pants and sandals to work. It snowed 3” Sunday. On Thursday, the first day of Spring, we had an ice storm that also brought 5” of snow and 35 mph winds.
I just read that we’re set to get another 3” of snow this weekend. I’m writing this on Friday, so let us hope not.
(Saturday update: We got about 1/2” last night and it’s been flurrying on and off since I’ve been up which was around 8 a.m. Different vetted weather sites are all within an inch so who knows.)
Mr. Lisa said I was finally tired of the weather up here. Sure, it’s been snowing for four months, cold for six, and we’ve got another month or so of fucked up weather until Spring really arrives. But I tell you what, I’d rather deal with crazy weather than live in Kentucky!
Speaking of which, with the 180 change in weather last weekend, we did not go to Kentucky as planned. The list we’ve been generating all winter of things we need to pick grows longer, but I wasn’t in the mood to drive for 10 hours for 1.5 days and then return. Plus, my arthritic ankle was in major pain with the crazy barometric pressure, and the idea of my right foot in the same position for that 10-hour drive did not sound like happy, fun times. We’ve swapped plans to head down in late April, when the weather will hopefully be more reasonable.
Library World
My training at Library E is almost done, and I’ve started subbing already. I worked two shifts in the technology center, which included printing computer guest passes, checking out laptops and gear, and helping people print. And spritz disinfectant once in a while.
The thing is, I wasn’t bored. The director of technology is pretty liberal with open policies, such as I could hang out on social media all day, and no one would give a damn. Instead, I popped open several incognito tabs of my other Google accounts, did some work for NGI, and also did some writing. The five hours went fast; before I knew it, it was closing time.
Overall, people were polite with their requests and kept to themselves. I know this is not necessarily true in other public libraries, but the vibe at Library E was good.
This upcoming week, I’m at Library B all week covering for the other circulation person. I’ll work six days in a row, get Sunday off, and then two more days. She’s covering the rest of that week and returning to our regular shift the following week. This is all to say I will have nearly a week off, which gives me more time to concentrate on other projects, including NGI.
The State of My Brain
I’ve had to cut down my therapy from weekly to once a month because while my therapist is in-network, our insurance sucks nuts and only pays 10-15% of the bill. She’s expensive, so I’m paying her out of pocket. I’ve started back with my weekly (free) group meetings, which have been helpful because it’s always so good to connect with others like me. I attended one on Thursday night that I hadn’t attended in a while. We have a new moderator and now the format is different. Instead of the group individually checking in and then choosing from a topic from the check-in, the moderator had a set topic and called on us what our thoughts were about the topic. There was no checking-in. I declined to answer when he got to me (as did several others). The host talked a lot about his 12-step programs and his problems, which made me uncomfortable. It just felt weird. I’m not sure I’ll go back.
The other weekly group remains the same so it’s a comfort. I know what I’m getting when I log on.
As I've gotten older, I’ve noticed I really need ritual and routine, or my brain gets frazzled. Maybe it’s always been this way, and I’ve never paid attention. Who knows?
The difference between the two groups is the mid-week group is specifically for people with bipolar, and the late-week group is for people who are bipolar or depressed. I attended both groups for a while but got emotionally exhausted. I have a video date once a week with at least one friend where the deep talks happen, the individual therapy once a month, and then there are the groups. It emotionally drains you, man!
The goal now is to see the therapist once a month and attend the late-week group weekly. I’ve been pretty stable for quite some time, but Mr. Lisa told me if I skipped out on therapy and taking my meds, he would consider leaving me. I wouldn’t blame him.
I started taking Clonidine a month or so ago, which is an ADHD med prescribed for kids, but adults have also had success with it. I’ve been upping the dose as I get focused, and boom! I’m back to spacing out again. I’m now at the highest dose (.4mg a day), and it’s starting to not work again.
Which, shit.
I don’t know if you recall, but when I started at the corporate job, my anxiety went through the roof. I went from having heart palpitations (upwards of 140 bpm) a couple of times a year to several times a month. The GP couldn’t find anything wrong with me other than stress, so she sent me to a cardiologist. They did a stress test, and I had a lot of EKGs done, but they couldn’t find anything wrong, which I already knew. But when I did the at-home heart monitoring test, my heart palpitations skyrocketed several times. She put me on Flecainide (which is for AFIB) and Dilacor XR (calcium channel blocker), which I’ve been on for many years. However, once I left my corporate job, my stress levels plummeted. I can’t take these meds AND ADHD meds at the same time, so I asked my cardiologist at my last appointment to be taken off of them, and she refused because they were “working.” Sure, but with lower stress levels and better everything, I don’t need the drugs anymore.
Anyways, what the fuck with that shit.
I told all of this to my MI GP and she agreed that if I want to go off them, since I don’t have any heart problems, we can go off of them. I stopped taking Flecainide immediately, but I’m still on the Dilacor XR, which we’re weaning me off of.
We were looking at trying Vyvanse, in addition to Clonidine for my ADHD, but the local pharmacy I use doesn’t carry the generic so that would be $350/mo WITH insurance. I checked trusty old CVS and GoodRX and I could probably get it down to $80/mo. Because it’s a controlled substance, I can’t get it via Mark Cuban’s CostPlus (all my other meds come through there and are cheap as fuck). Once I get off of Dilacor, my options widen up.
Spin Cycle
I bragged about our combo washer/dryer for years because it is the best thing ever. When it broke down the other week, Mr. Lisa was bereft. He was finally laid off and the last thing we need is another big bill. Thankfully, we bought an extended warranty that lasts until 2027! A complete wash/dry load takes 3 hour and 7 minutes. What was happening is when the machine got to the dry cycle, it would take several hours to complete so a load was taking up to 5 hours to complete and even then the clothes weren’t completely dry. While I pull out all the lint I can (we do not have a lint trap) and we ran the clean tub cycle and it was still happening. The repair guy came out several times as he troubleshoot the issue which included pulling out the lint (mainly dog hair) from the machine. Friday was trip number 3 and he had to take the machine apart to pull out more junk stuck in the filters and it was super gross and most of it was dog hair. I’m running my first load in weeks so here’s hoping the problem has been solved!
(Mr. Lisa did went to the laundromat when I was at work last week to do our laundry and he was in and out under 1.5 hours while it would have taken me hours to do it all. Working in the same village as the laundromat is helpful, but I still like doing laundry at home.)
lisa x