A Most Unreliable Narrator Issue #149 cool slutty daddy vibes
whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty good man
Like most of the world, I currently have a crush on Pedro Pascal. I don’t know what it is about him that I lust for. Is it because he’s LGTBQI+ friendly? (His sister is trans.) Is it because he’s nearing 50 and feels age appropriate? (What is with me and “age appropriate” lusts lately? If the person is in their mid 40s or older, I want to do things to them. To be brutally honest, sub 35 year olds frighten me. I used to say, not that long ago, if they could rent a car (25), I was fine. Now that just feels tiresome. I don’t want to have to train anyone! I want someone who is experienced and confident! (I haven’t done a list of future spouses in a long while. I should.)) Is it because Pedro seems like a fun and goofy guy? Is it because he’s handsome? Is it because he’s a brilliant actor?
It's everything about him.
I bought this candle the other day and it came in this weekend.
It’s everything you would think it would be. If I could make out with a candle, I would.
Mr. slutty daddy is starring in an upcoming flick, “Strange Way of Life,” with Ethan Hawke (another person I’ve lusted after for over 30 years). They play lovers who come back together for something or another. (Sorry, I was too busy thinking of Lisa sandwiches.)
Take my money! I’ll be first in line!
(The movie is allegedly 31 minutes in length. Let us hope it gets to American shores.)
(Mr. Lisa was very excited to tell me about “Strange Way of Life” but was not surprised I already knew.)
I’ve been driving Mr. Lisa crazy lately with the buying and returning spree I’ve been on. Bad Kitty and I have talked incessantly about as you lose weight; you don’t really want to buy new clothes as you lose because it obviously gets expensive. But I was getting to the point where my 3X size stuff I was stuffed like a sausage in were starting to fall off me. I needed to replace some of my clothes.
Fast fashion is saving me right now.
I bought shorts in two sizes before our Mexico trip, sending back the bigger size. After our trip in Mexico, the shorts I bought were getting too big, so I needed to downsize again. I went from a 24/26 to an 18/20 in four months. I also went from a 3X to XL/XXL. It’s been really fucking wild.
I bought eight or nine dresses for our wedding this week and returned all but two casual ones while I was looking for tea party dresses. Majority of them were too big but I didn’t have enough time to swap them for smaller sizes. Then I decided I was going to wear a Leia and Han shirt with a skirt but when the t-shirt arrived, it was too big and the fabric was super rough to the touch. I’m going with one of the dresses I kept which is a black and beige print dress with a pair of Dr Martens Made in England boots. (I’ve worn Docs for years but never had a pair of the boots.) I am going to need to start beating them into submission before Thursday. (I was going for a different pair of Docs but they didn’t work out.)
The weight loss has been slow. Months I haven’t really lost, I’ve lost inches. Months I lost weight, the inches didn’t move. I keep thinking what my dietician says and that it’s a marathon and not a sprint. People lose weight at different speeds. I’m also near menopause and I have PCOS. Even when I was doing keto before the surgery, I barely lost any weight even with 40g net carb diet and under 1500 calorie a day diet.
It's a struggle every day. I try to not get upset at myself, again, marathon, not a sprint, but it’s hard to not put yourself down. (Or compare yourself to others.)
My therapist and I have agreed that I’m settled at once a month session now. I’ve been so stable for so long but there are times when I’m feeling the pull of the crazy. Feeling like I’m living in Vaseline, slip sliding everywhere. The world is blurry but sometimes the blur clears a little and I get my feet.
Those times, thankfully, are few and far between. My life is not exciting. And I don’t put myself in situations anymore that could be dangerous.
Because I’ve been in such a good place after the surgery, going down to once a month was a no brainer.
His concern, however, is my thoughts and feelings about food. For that I’m emailing him once a week a summary of what I ate and how I’m moving my body. We’re walking every day after work. We’re starting doing long walks on the weekends. I want to start hitting larger parks in the area and do weekend hikes. Getting up to Michigan will be easier since the peninsula is loaded with hiking and walking trails.
I cannot wait.
Other newsletter updates and publications
chapbook: commercial breaks
What I’m Reading
This year I’ve committed to read 75 books via the Good Reads Reading Challenge.
Glenarvon Byron’s ex-lover was so distraught about their breakup; she wrote a roman à clef about their relationship
Triple Jeopardy (Daniel Pitt #2) Daniel Pitt defends a British diplomat
Golden Age “cerebral and sarcastic narrative is a reflection on the failures of individuals and the enormous political, social, and personal changes in 20thcentury China”
Murder in Westminister (Lady Worthing Mysteries #1) A darker twist of Bridgerton
Dark Fire (Matthew Shardlake #2) A young woman is on trial for murder, can Shardlake help her?
Chef’s Kiss (Chef’s Kiss #1) “A high-strung pastry chef’s professional goals are interrupted by an unexpected career transition and the introduction of her wildly attractive nonbinary kitchen manager in this deliciously fresh and witty queer rom-com.”
I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself “a bold debut novel that examines the long shadow of grief, the hard work of parenting, and the power of queer resistance”
Galatea “reimagines the myth of Galatea and Pygmalion”
Wordslut “A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language”
A Wrinkle in Time (Time Quintet #1) “When the children learn that Mr. Murry has been captured by the Dark Thing, they time travel to Camazotz, where they must face the leader IT in the ultimate battle between good and evil—a journey that threatens their lives and our universe.”
The End of Everything “an accessible and eye-opening look—in the bestselling tradition of Sean Carroll and Carlo Rovelli—at the five different ways the universe could end”
The London Séance Society A woman joins a séance group to find her sister’s killer
The Lost Apothecary “A female apothecary secretly dispenses poisons to liberate women from the men who have wronged them”
The Good Girl’s Guide to Rakes (Last Chance Scoundrels #1) A rake and a young lass looking to break her good-girl guise, team up and fall in love
Death of a Bookseller “a disaffected, true crime-obsessed bookseller develops a dangerous obsession with a colleague.”
Life Will Be the Death of Me:…And You Too! Chelsea Handler essays
Trespasses “Set in Northern Ireland during the Troubles, a shattering novel about a young woman caught between allegiance to community and a dangerous passion.”
Check out the media I’ve consumed for 2023!
Sugar Free Jell-O
My current favorite dessert is sugar free Jell-O with lite Cool Whip. This is a holdover from my right after fat girl surgery days when I could only have liquids and Jell-O counted. I get teased by Mr. Lisa about being 90 but fine by me!
Have a good week!