In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #15 A Frank Discussion on Being Fat Part 1
Days in lockdown: 359
Mood: Cheery with a touch of rage against the man
This morning I weighed 322.8lbs.
My highest weight was 338.3.
The last time I weighed below 300 was October of 2012.
My goal weight is 200 – 220lbs. It’ll take me about a year+ to get there.
I’ve been sitting on the topic of fat and health for weeks now. It’s divisive, triggering, angering, and full of shame. It’s time to stop ignoring some truths and start accepting them publicly and openly.
The average American woman weighs 170 lbs at 5’4” She would wear a size 12 -1 4. Obesity rages across 50% of the American adult population. What defines obese though? If the average American woman weighs 170lbs and she is 5’4” tall, is she fat? Yes. Her BMI is 31 so according to the experts, she’s not overweight, she’s obese. Don’t get me started on BMI, Belgian scientist Adolphe Quetelet came up with the BMI formula sometime between 1830 – 1850. We can cancel his fucking ass. I can’t find data for the average American woman’s height and weight for that time period, but I did find it for the turn of the 20th century. The average height for a woman was 5’2” and her weight was 118lbs and she would wear a modern size 6 - 8. Studies suggest that she was roughly an inch shorter and weighed 10lbs 50 years prior if the trends from the early 20th century remain true.
Thus, we have a tool that conceived nearly 200 years ago to measure our 21st century bodies with 19th century bodies in mind where we have gotten taller and weigh more. It’s fucking ridiculous that doctors and scientists are still holding on to this “ideal.” Fuck ‘em and feed them fish heads.
I’m not here to say, blah blah blah, I’m not fat. I am fat. Neither you nor I can deny I’m fat. Am I lucky my BP is good (115/70) and I’m not pre-diabetic despite a long familial history? Sure, I guess. I have SVT but it’s not because my fat is causing my heart to beat irregularly it’s because I am a high stress person and the attacks were getting scarier and the drugs give me some kind of relief. Can I exercise? I can power walk a 5K without getting terribly winded but you could argue the winding come from being an ex-smoker. Steep hills though, those kill me.
Fat women shame other fat women. I’ve done it. I know most of my fat girlfriends have done it. We pride ourselves on being Lane Bryant fat in that we can shop at a store for our clothes and not have to special order them. We compare our bodies to their bodies and sigh a breath of relief that we don’t wear that size and we’re not that big. We can still buckle up in cars and airplanes, we say to ourselves, and shop at other stores who now carry “plus” sizes. (Another term I hate.) Our arms may be toner or we don’t have a fat girl face which belies our weight. We mock them in our head and we’re catty with each other.
See, skinny people didn’t corner the market on body shaming. Fat women stake their claim and stick to it. There is rarely sisterhood.
I wear a size 24. I once predicted in my late 20s that the 10 or so pounds I was gaining yearly would put me at about 300lbs when I was 40. I was right.
But I don’t “look” like a size 24 and I don’t look like I weigh 300lbs is something I hear often. Doctor’s office that still manually use scales start at the 200lb marker then the 250 and when they hit the 300lb marker, they look at me as if their scale is broken. And if you met me, you would agree I was big. Again, there is no denying that very obvious fact. But I “carry my weight well” as the youths say. I come from a long line of peasants who were built for farming the fields and giving birth to babies.
See, I’m passive-aggressively body shaming other fat women. I don’t “look like you” so ergo “I am better.”
I’m going to end on this note today. This topic cannot be condensed in under 1000 words. I’m also getting too worked up about this topic.
Till next week!
P.S. Data and stats I pulled from reputable sources and not from jillannesdietcenter.org in case you were hesitant about clicking links.
Wonderful Thing
It shan’t be a surprise that I’m a big fan of Dr Martens. I own a pair of oxfords and several pairs of ankle boots. I don’t think I’ve ever owned the original boot but I plan on getting a pair in the future. For now, however, I splurged and bought two pair of Dr Martens sandals this week: an ankle strap in leopard print and a pair of slides. I’ve decided I’m over flipflops.
Interesting Things (or things to buy)
Still hawking my Pops on eBay if you are so inclined to shop. (Just added a dozen more yesterday!)
A friend reached out that they were into buying the TomboyX bras I mentioned a couple of episodes back and wondered if I had a referrer code. Turns out I do! ($20 off your first order!)
Links to Read That are Not Depressing
The UK conference from Current Archelogy has not only made their conference virtual this year but you can watch the speakers for free!
Every moment of John Oliver's diabolical long-running joke about Adam Driver
Iconic "Moonstruck" House In Brooklyn Heights Is Up For Sale
The Original ‘Real World’ Cast Reunites, Older but Still Not Polite (Paramount+ saw me coming a mile away.)
NME New Bangers (The music mag, NME, does a weekly spotify of new music. Be warned NME is a Brit mag so there will be a lot of Brit bands.)
Local radio station, WFPK, is THE coolest public radio station ever. They are compiling a list of the top 500 albums of the ‘90s to be played at the end of March. Go vote! They stream online and also on their app (search for “Louisville Public Media”) so you can hear the results. Cannot say enough about this station!
As always, don't be an ass. Wear a damned mask.
lisa x
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