In the Year of our Lord of COVID: Issue #3 Lippy Kids
Days in quarantine: 164
I bought more concert tickets:
You are reading that correctly: Dublin, Belfast, Glasgow, and one ticket not shown, Cardiff. Wales, Ireland, and Scotland. Not a single North American gig.
You may be wondering, “WTF are you doing buying concert tickets in the middle of a pandemic to gigs in EUROPE???” to which I say, “Fuck it.” The shows are between 7 – 8 months away, we have no fucking idea on what’s going to happen, and if I can’t go, I can hawk the tickets. I work for global company and it would not be inconceivable to travel to EU, quarantine for a few weeks before the gigs and work, see the gigs, and then come home and quarantine again for another two weeks. My old chum, James, who does something with infectious diseases, told me most ardently that even if the US and UK got their shit together in terms of COVID NOW, safe travel to the UK would not happen until at least May. The gigs are in late March to mid-April 2021. I told him to fuck off most lovingly.
You may also be questioning why four dates for a single band? Easy. I've loved this band for nearly 20 years and have missed them on every single American tour, so I'm making up for lost time and also, why the fuck not?
I started Latuda the Friday past and so far it seems to be working, I guess? The buzzing in my head is way, way down but I still have active mania which is where I cannot stop moving or at least tapping a body part on something (nails on tables, feet on the bed, wiggling toes in slippers and shoes).
But one thing it has not change is my behaviour to the outside world. It is pretty clear when I’m out in the world interacting with people I do not know, I get pretty assertive and lippy. Downright feral at times. The feeling to BE lippy is strong as fuck. I’ve gotten into a few lippy tussles this week alone. I try to reign myself when I see myself heading towards a confrontation in public (ALWAYS about the mask wearing or lack thereof). I’ve been through rage before, and mania, but this is really, really different in that I have to be in a very specific situation to set me off. I told The Best Kate I wanted a goddamn cookie for not ripping anyone’s head off when I was out yesterday running errands. I was so downright cordial to everyone I met that I surprised even myself.
Unprecedented times!
Everyone I talk to about various rages all have a variation of the same question: Well, what are you going to do when you feel this way? This question gets really fucking annoying, because when your head is on fire, most things are very difficult to do that requires a modicum of concentration to help with the rage. Exercise sometimes helps. Sometimes. I’ve taken to walking OUTSIDE at lunch listening to podcasts and audiobooks. TEH has been incredibly regimented on doing his walks in the morning but his watch yells at him for not getting enough exercise even after he does a three mile walk/run so he wanted to join me. The first time, I hesitantly said “yes” even though I didn’t really want him there. This was my time. We’re glued to each other’s hips 23 hours a day with the only breaks when I go run errands or he goes to his parents. Sure enough, we start walking and I start getting a tight feeling in my chest and I start to feel anxious. I didn’t say anything until after we got home and my anxiety had subsided. He was genuinely a little hurt because he says he loves doing outdoorsy things with me. I explained that I’ll walk with him anytime EXCEPT from 11A – 12P. That’s my time. My alone time. My “I don’t have to worry about anyone else. including the dog, but me” time. He gets it, I know he does, but he has this habit of trying to be TOO protective of me. It is not that he sees me as some fragile bird to be sheltered, he gets annoyed when I ask for help for something he thinks I should be able to do myself, but with all my freak outs in the past and not telling him when those freak outs were starting to escalate, he wants to be on top of it in case I get incapacitated again. I get that and it’s not something I want to shit on, but, the more you try to metaphorically try to tie me down, even with the best intentions, I want nothing more than to stand my ground and rebel. He’s also like this as well so you see, there is a lot of peaceful conflicts going on in the house.
Unprecedented times!
Scots Gaelic sentence of the week:
Tha mi ag irraidh IRN BRU a-nis. (I want IRN BRU now.)
(I'm learning Scots Gaelic via Duolingo so I need to show off my work.)
Stuff I am adoring right now and are not linked to make me three cents:
The Body Shop has the best hand lotions imho
Found the perfect pair of boyshorts at Torrid and bought the entire line. Sizes 10 – 30
My hair has been blue for a few months now
I am finding a HUGE success with keeping my blue using Olaplex No. 4 Bond Maintenance shampoo and Olaplex No. 5 Bond Maintenance conditioner along with using Kevin Murphy’s Re.Store conditioner as the only product every other wash. The blue has hardly faded. (Price might seem a little high but I've had the mini bottles since mid-June and they are more than 1/2 way full)
While I do some tasks at work, I find listening to audiobooks has been really great to engage my mind if the task doesn’t really require a lot of thought. Overdrive, the main provider of ebooks/audiobooks to 99% of the library systems, has an app called Libby which is really great for managing and listening/reading your books. It can also handle multiple library cards which is great because I have three!
This leads me into the book I’m currently listening to, When We Were Vikings by Andrew David MacDonald. Zelda is a 21 year old high functioning adult on the fetal alcohol spectrum. She’s just, remarkable, brave, courageous, and decides she wants to emulate her beloved vikings and become legendary. This is a wholly original story and one I will be pressing into people’s hands
Living in a condo with very little usable space means figuring out how to make it work. We found these bookcases perfect for my bourgeoning collection and we can place them all around the condo in those small areas that are crying out for something. This is three of the four bookshelves and about 80% of these books are my TBR pile and were living on the floor on my side of the bed. Don’t mind the mess or the pug
Don't be an ass. Wear a damned mask.
lisa x
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Image depicting the black death in a book by French chronicler
and poet, Gilles Li Muisis (1272 - 1352). Artist unknown.