Interlude #1

In my last therapy session, my mother's attempted (twice) suicide was the topic du jour. I startled myself with this admission made within the first five minutes of me sitting down on the couch and to be honest, I cannot remember what prompted it but one thing made clear: if I want to move my life along, I'm going to need to work through a lot of dark, and often disturbing, shit. Talking about my mother's attempted (twice) suicide was just the tip of it.

Keeping a regular journal online for nearly 20 years was kind of that reason but I spend/spent a lot of time on the "now" and not really digging into the "when" which now looking back on my blogging career isn't enough. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying goodbye to this newsletter, quite the contrary I'll still be writing here on a steady basis with my navel-gazing as it helps with working with present problems so this newsletter is not going anywhere but I need more.

Enter "A Woman WIth A Past" (name stolen from a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald).

My original idea was to create the site on wordpress.com as you can build a community there fairly easy but the lack of creating an anonymous website, unless you forge a completely separate persona which is utterly exhausting to create, turned me off. I opted then to my original website idea where I dug up one of my domains, modgirl.net, and I have repurposed it for the domain to put the disturbing shit.  The site cross-posts to Twitter and Tumblr (insta I have to do by hand) and using tags, I am joining a community in progress while keeping it in my own space.

My artist statement, if you will, is this is a project and an experiment to dig deep down and hard an look at the dark and disturbing stuff, drag it back to the surface and write about it in poetry/prose form. I'm going to try and refrain from Tumblr love poetry if at all possible. Some of the writing will be bad and some of it will be quite good. My goal is to do one piece a day and post it (and I'm already running late for today because of course). I want to remain anonymous so the work can stand on its own and there is no judgement or preconceived notions. Other than as the anonymous person, I won't be advertising the project anywhere other than here and possibly on one of my FB groups. I want people to find it organically.

So, pick your poison: subscribe to the website, tumblr, insta, or twitter and see you there.

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